Alright! Thanks to a little cash injection, courtesy of running some bootlegged liquor, we have enough to finish tuning the NSX.

Fun fact. Did you know NASCAR’s roots started with drivers and mechanics who learned their skills running moonshine?

True story.





Now, fully tuned and with our existing parts, we take our humble, Japanese Gentlemenly Agreed 280 horsepower NSX…





Into a 510 horsepower MONSTER.

We’re going to kick that girls’ ass, and come home with a pelt of her hair to celebrate!





: It’s you again. I guess he’s decided to go bald.



: Shut up! I'm the one who's going to win!



And indeed we will. But patience, dear Hiro. First we gotta take on her three drivers…


: I'm going to beat them all!!


: Let's put on a wig now.



First up, we’re against that BMW that beat us last time…








Nnnghhh… that was not good…. We won… but only barely…

The NSX is almost impossible to control on the ice. The wheels spin at such low rpm we can't generate enough traction to get the car moving.

After lots of practice, I managed to find some techniques that worked to avoid spinning the tyres…

My clever trick is, I start the race in third gear. At 80kph, I switch to fourth. I ride that up to 170kph, at which the wheels start spinning uncontrollably again… and I hope I don’t get passed.

The next car is a Mustang…








Who promptly blows us away. Whilst we've got the speed advantage, it takes us too long to get there, and not being able to gain any speed past 170kph ruins basically any chance we have to close the gap.

…the best I can get is a 15.85…

Well… shit…





: Ha ha ha ha. How embarrassing! Everyone! Laugh it off! Ha ha ha






Turns out the NSX isn't very good on the ice…

We’re going to need some new tactics….

Which got me thinking… Acierocolotl was talking about strategy guides earlier, and I saw some of these on various Japanese Auction sites.

Including one called: ZERO4 CHAMP RR-Z Super Guide Strategy Guide Book For Nintendo Super Famicom!





Now this book is for a later game in the series, but looking through the (very few) available photographs of pages, it looks like they have some useful tuning guides…








Dedicated to each car, it appears there's a writeup on the cars, the stock dyno chart, and three boxes on the left that represent ideal tuning setups for different race types - Dry, Wet and Ice. It looks like these later games work basically the same way.

Unfortunately there’s no page available for a NSX, but the MR2 page seems close enough given the shared characteristics of great looking mid engined turbocharged sports cars. So I feel it’s a good one to start with.

Here’s my attempt to translate the ice course guide:





The translation basically amounts to ‘Hey don’t use non 4WD cars on ice races, but if you have to, use three HyperChargers.’

Reading through this and the other entries made it clear to me that I should be using different types of tuning configs for different cars, and in different races.

Committing to the bit, I thought I’d try to see if I could get this NSX to win this race. The ideal ice race setup for a MR2 (according to this manual) is three hyperchargers, an intercooler and studless tyres.

Well, I’ve got one Hypercharger. How much would it cost for another two?





Errrr…. They're 30k… each…

That’s… a lot of grinding I don't feel like doing right now.

Maybe instead I can get the NSX to try and match the dyno curve that we see in the book. It has much lower power and tries to get the torque curve close to it.





Using different parts, I try to get our power and torque at lower RPM. We're only 391 hp now compared to 510, but hopefully it'll make a difference…





And a difference it does! That completely removed the wheelspin at higher speeds, allowing me to defeat the BMW and the Mustang.


: We did it!






: Don't get too complacent with this.


: Shut up! Who's next?






Ahh it’s one of those Trophy Trucks…





Close one! But we got them!.





: It seems you don't have any friends left.


: You're next!


: You'll definitely regret it!






Ok. Now we're up against the red head. She's going to look so silly without that hair of hers.

Wait.. is this a new car???





It is too! I'm so used to Porches, Ferrari’s and Lamborghini's I thought we'd seen all the enemy cars.

I don't know what this is, but it looks like a hatch designed for rally. My best guess is something like a Peugot 205 tdi…









Whatever it was… we beat it!

This took quite a number of tries. I had to nail every gear change and get my timing perfect, but I managed to beat her with a respectable 13.33 vs 13.69.





: Yay! Look at that! Serves you right!


: Damn, I have no choice. I promise.


: Take this "Syle Chain"


:This is the goal, right?







Uh.. what on earth is a syle chain?


: I don't need that kind of thing.


: I'll shave you off.



:sickos:


: You're kidding me? You're going to shave me… I'm a woman.






: Are you a woman only when it's convenient for you? You were planning to shave me too, weren't you?



She was. And she did! I don't think she is in any position to be renegotiating right now.


: Anyway get your head out!






Ooh, she's shutting her eyes. Here it comes.

:sickos: :sickos:


: Just kidding



… What?


: Huh? Are you kidding?


: Because you were so cheeky I gave him a little lesson


: You're kidding me…



Damnit Hiro. Again, you show mercy at the oddest times.


: But you should stop using that word. Because you're cute.



What word? Woman?... Shave?... Syle?


: I'll take the item.


: Hold on a second, you bastard!


: Oh no, he's gone...


: Without even considering my feelings...



Uh.. I think you got of pretty light there lady. I think your feelings should be the last of your worries. You still have your hair, after all.

Now, just what the hell is a ‘Syle Chain?’

Time for a quick 28 hour detour to Dallas to find out…








: This will help you on the ice course. It will improve your grip.



Wow, ok! Straight to the point. That's one of the most useful descriptions we've gotten from Arnie. I'll bet this is what we’ll need in Montreal to take on Celine Dion.

Speaking of, where are we off to next Goons? Not many locations left…