Alright, now we're talking. 35 hours from New Orleans to Calgary by way of Dallas.

Now that's a real commute.

: Oh dear, we finally arrived.

Amusingly the translator has decided to suddenly translate this line (which is the same everywhere we go) from ‘Phew, we finally arrived’ to 'Oh dear', we finally arrived.

But oh dear indeed. I would have thought that Calgary was a modern Canadian city of 1.3 million, but the game seems to depict it as the Old West.

This game has seemingly based all its locations on real photos, so I googled Calgary ‘Old Town’ and I discovered there is actually an old west style tourist attraction called “Heritage Park”

This pic is almost the exact same camera angle! So the developers must have based their version of Calgary on this place, not the actual city.

: It's a beautiful town.

I’m not sure if Hiro realises this is not the town centre of Calgary, but we’ll forgive him. Now let’s see if anyone here knows something about motor racing. Let’s Talk

: Umm… This is where they do zero-yon. Do you have it?

Ah. This old west town is replete with its own country bumpkins. Sadly I didn’t catch it in time, but he’s missing a few teeth mouth when he opens it to speak.

Why are all the bumpkins in this game Canadians?

: Tasuka: I did it in Banff Park.

: Hello there

Ok then! Banff Park eh? This also seems to be a real place as well, according to Google.

Wow... What incredible landscapes.

When staring at mother eve’s stunning beauty like this, a man's mind immediately turns to 'Can I do a motor race on that?'

I’m guessing this is another ice race location. Let's go to the Circuit!

Hey, that's a pretty good depiction. And this suspicious looking lady I expect is our opponent.

: I came here to do some zero-yon.

: (What a cute girl...)

Of course Hiro immediately has eyes for this woman the second he meets her.

: Are you underestimating me because I'm a woman?

No, not at all. We continually get our asses kicked by women in this game.

: I'm not underestimating you. I want to be the best at zero-four. I'm looking for something to achieve that.

: You say that, but aren't you after me too?

Oof. Well lookie here, if it isn't little miss full of herself.

Boy. She just assumes Hiro is immediately going to hit on her. What kind of person does she think Hiro is?

(…Ok, well, we know he's like that, but to be fair he hasn't shown it yet. )

: Hey, you, get your act together!

: I hate people like you.

: Don't be so conceited, you two!

That's some good deflection there Hiro.

I like this tactic better than professing your undying love or whatever the hell you thought would give you an edge over Celine Dion.

: Hmm, that's fine.

: There's no way you can beat me.

: If I win, you'll be bald.

: Bobozu? Am I going to be one?

I had to look this up. It means buddhist monk, and can be slang for ‘bald’.

Is this a bet? Is she going to shave Hiro's head if we lose?

: If you don't like it, that's fine. I don't mind. There's no need to do the zero-four.

: Let’s try a different way to win…

: You coward!

: If you don't have the courage to go bald. Get home now!!

: Damn

: But I have to do something…

Okay, okay, I guess I'll just have to be bald. So let's get this done quickly.

: Do you think you can suddenly compete with me?

: First we have to fight those three guys.

: Get to the starting line!

Ok, first up we’re against a BMW. We're in the NSX. Time to see what it's made of.

We always win on the first race, so I suspect this will be over and done pretty quickly.

Ok. I’m not going to mince words. We lost. Spectacularly. I just would get zero traction...

16.32 vs 21.25 - I can’t believe we did so badly. And that was the best I could do after a ton of tries...

This car will definitely need some tuning…

: I lost…

: As promised, I'll leave you bald.

Oh… right.. I forgot about that

We're treated to some hair cutting sound effects...

: Ha ha ha ha

: How embarrassing!

: Everyone! Laugh it off! Ha ha ha