Okay. With the promise of live sex shows and debauchery, let's go to New Orleans!





Wow. only 13 hours. Why, it’s almost possible the last two updates occurred over a single day.





: Oh dear… we've finally arrived.



Did we just step back in time? It seems like they still ride horse and carts here.

Hopefully we get an opportunity to prove that Japanese horse and carts are better than American ones.





: Hmm, this town has a lot of character...



Well, let's see if New Orleans has any idea of racing here. Let’s find someone to Talk






This old lady looks like she might know a thing or two about illegal street racing.


: Umm… This is where they do zero-yon.


: Do you have it?



: There's no way I'm doing a zero-four.


: This is the historic city of New Orleans. Go sightseeing, go sightseeing!



Oh that's right. Isn't there supposed to be live sex shows around here somewhere? Let's check out the Shop.


: There doesn't seem to be any shops.



Maybe Circuit could mean something different around these parts…


: It doesn't seem to be done here.



Well then. I guess we need to create the change we want to see. Maybe we’ll get our live sex show as part of a Part time Job


: Part-time job?I don't really feel like working.



: Maybe I'll do some sightseeing.



We've got options: Do or Do Not

Obviously we're choosing Do.





: There's a manhole over there.



Uh. Okay. That was not the response I expected.

Yes, Hiro. There is a manhole there. No, this is not part of any live sex show, it’s one of those street manholes that open out to a sewer.






Oh! This is a new mechanic I haven't seen before. It seems we have a cursor on the screen, not unlike the location map. We can use the hand cursor to select things.





We can actually select the Manhole cover and it opens to reveal a ladder!


: There's nothing else going on…



Drat. It closes immediately after Hiro says that.

Maybe we can come back here later?

I’m hoping for some secret, underground (literally) street racing…

… Or maybe that's where we find the sex shows?

There isn’t too much to interact with here. Probably most notably is the horse, which when clicked gives us a hilarious Neigh that surprises Hiro.





: Wow!


Clicking on the lady standing in front of the carriage opens up a conversation.





: Sorry, the carriage is full, but if you'd like, I can show you around town.



Ah, great. Point us in the direction of the live sex shows, please and thank you.


: Well then, I'll ask you.



Huh. It seems like we've gone back to the cursor interface. The main difference this time is the lady sometimes explains things when you click on them.


Clicking on the building she gives us an impromptu description of the area.


: This is the French Quarter, New Orleans' number one tourist spot.



Ahh, this is the place Gegi said that their teachers wouldn't let them visit because of all the live sex shows.

…Gegi, I think they were lying to you.


It seems the horse, the manhole cover, the carriage and the building are the only things we can click on. Eventually with some frantic clicking everywhere behavior, I discovered when clicking on the edges of the screen, the guide suggests other places to visit.





: Jackson square is over there. Would you like to go?






And here we are in Jackson Square. I presume this is all a homage to Michael Jackson and the Jackson Five.

We can click on things, like the statue.


: That's a statue of the great General Andrew Jackson. He became a national hero in the War of 1812. He later became President of the United States.



Eh, close enough.

We can also click the church, which gives us some rad church bell sound effects and a description.


: That's St. Louis Cathedral. This historic church was built in 1722.



This whole multi-scene, guided tour thing that the game has suddenly decided it wants to do for the first time is an interesting choice. It feels like it was part of the remit of the game was to be a Virtual America tour, and perhaps this is the most fleshed out version of that.


: Over there is Louis Armstrong Park. There is. Would you like to go?






: Louis Armstrong Park is the birthplace of jazz. It was formerly known as Congo Square.



Another location with… not a whole lot going on.

If I click the band they play a little Jazz tune. Amusingly, if click on the statue, it waves back with a silly noise.

I clicked around until I found another travel spot.


: That's the Superdome. Would you like to go?






: This Superdome has a diameter of 210m. At a height of 82.3m. As a dome-shaped building


: It's the largest in the world.



Wow. This place looks huge. The Live Sex Shows that are held here must be incredible.


: Held every New Year At a football game 80,000 seats will be filled to capacity.



Aw... it's just a football stadium.

It took me a while, but randomly clicking about eventually caused Brad Pitt to show up.





: Hey bro, do you want to come in?


: There's a football game going on right now. I have an admission ticket.


: Would you like to buy an S-seat ticket?


: $150 for a bear is fine.



Ahh. Seems like Brad was a ticket scalper at this stage of his career!

$150 a ticket seems crazy expensive for 1993…

We have two options. Yes and No

No thank you. I ain’t paying that much for football tickets. Even if we get a bear as part of the package.


: How about an A seat ticket?


: I'll give you $100 for a bear.



Again, sorry, No. We don’t actually have any bears to give you.


: Then here's a ticket for seat B. It's a huge discount, $50. I'll buy it.



: Ok… well, I'm curious to see where this goes, $50 is nothing, and this time there was no mention of any bears… Yes.


: Hello


: Hmm, football… Sounds interesting, let's go.






: Damn, there are so many people I can't see anything.


: Americans are big.



I'm surprised it took this long to bring up this stereotype. But yeah. I guess the obesity epidemic wasn’t as bad in 1993.

Like the other areas, we can click on various things here too - but there's only a couple of things that work.

If I click the crowd it makes a cheering noise, but doesn’t do anything else.

However, if I can find the snacks guy in the crowd with his hands up, clicking him brings him closer.




: Do you need binoculars? I can see the game very well.



Oh, apparently it’s not snacks he’s selling. It’s Binoculars. This seems like a good capitalistic strategy, sell people tickets to seats that are so far away that they can’t see anything, then offer to sell them binoculars.


: Binoculars please.



: Yes, every time! It's $250.



…. really … really… expensive binoculars.


: Okay, now I can see it.






: Ugh, I can't see it even with binoculars.



Well… it doesn’t appear like we’re watching any football today, and it doesn’t seem like there’s anything else interactive here. Let's leave..





: Is it coming out already?



For curiosity's sake, I loaded the save to look at a S ticket / A ticket and it just seems that Hiro gets scammed. So the B ticket is the only option.





: Ah, this ticket has expired.


: Damn, I got it!



The virtual tour from this point seems to just loop back around to the first screen, and I don’t think there’s anything I haven’t tried yet. It doesn’t look like there’s any live sex shows for us today. Let's quit.


: Are you going home already?


: Thank you very much for today. I'll pay for the guide fee. How much?


: I don't need that. I had fun too. Well then, goodbye.



Aww. That's nice of her to give us a free tour. Especially since it seemed she left all those paying customers alone on the carriage…


: She was a good girl...I'm going home too.









There's nothing left to do here in New Orleans it seems.

Maybe we haven't unlocked whatever it is that will let us visit the sewer via the manhole cover... But I can’t help but feel the developers put all of that work together, just so we can get a pair of binoculars.

What on earth can we use those for anyway?

Well, let’s swing by Dallas to ask the only guy on the continent who could tell us what a pair of Binoculars could be used for. Arnold Schwarzenegger.





: You probably know about feather glasses.


: I use it to look at various things.



I see. Thanks Arnie…

I still have no idea what these do, but I guess they'll come in handy somewhere.

Alright. Time to move on. Looks like we've only got four locations we haven't visited yet.


Since it was the second most popular vote last time, I'm going to skip the vote this time around and announce we're going to Calgary!