Ok it's decided! We're visiting Niagara falls!








Once again, it was only a short, 30 hour cross country road trip into Canada.

We chose the Canada side, because it’s got better views. (And because I actually went there once.)

Hopefully we’ll get some time to stop off at the Frankenstein Burger King.





From my own travels, I remember the city around the falls being very chintzy and touristy, but the Niagara on the Lake township being a beautiful place.





Ooh….

It doesn’t look like we’re in the Niagara Falls city, but right next to the actual falls itself!

We’re so close, I can only assume we’re on one of those Maid of the Mist tourist boats.





: As expected from Niagara, it’s impressive.


: Things

.

Things indeed. Well, I suppose we’d better Talk to some locals on the boat. Someone here must know about some illegal Zero4 Racing circuit that would inevitably be here.





Someone like this guy, for instance.


: Umm, there’s a place around here where they do zero-yon. Do you have it?


: They're doing it on Goat Island. But the water splashes a lot there. Be prepared to get wet.


: Thank you very much.


: (I don't care if these clothes get wet)



I looked it up, and Goat Island is the actual island that sits between the falls.

So, basically they’re saying we’re going to race along the edge of the wet, slippery falls. Of course! The perfect place for illegal street racing.

Now. If it’s not obvious, I’m going to try and mix it up with our cars each race going on here. We did well with our Lancer last race and the CRX is the king of Daytona, so let’s pick from one of the others.

The obvious answer of course is the Skyline GTR but that just feels like cheating.

Since it’s a wet race, we'll need something four wheel drive with enough power. I’ll choose the Mitsubishi Galant VR4








We haven’t yet done any mods on her yet, so we’ll undoubtedly lose, but it will be interesting to see how it performs stock, and we can tune her appropriately from there.


Let’s go to the Circuit!








Who’s this guy?

With a dress suit and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, he looks like he’s supposed to be from the 1940s.


: Who are you?



: I came here to play Oore Zeroyon.



: What? Did you come to challenge me? How ignorant of yourself!


: I am the prince of Zero-Yon. Do you know Hilliard Eric? You fool!

!

Well. I guess this assholes name is ‘Eric Hilliard’ because he deigned to tell us.

You know. Eric Hilliard sounds like a very deliberate name, it doesn't sound like a made up one. Especially since, for the most part the game hasn't been telling us our opponents names at all since LA.

I wonder if this was a nod to someone by the developers?

Unfortunately it seems like Eric Hilliard is a common enough name it's hard to point to any one person.


: It feels like I've come to a totally unexpected place.


: Hey! Are you listening to me? I'm the wet course champ.



Oh, finally, an actual champ. Hopefully he’s easier than Celine Dion was.


: So you have a medal?


: Of course, he's the champion. I'm not in the same league as a thug like you.



A thug? I resent that. You break into a couple of cars, and now you're branded for life...


: So what if that great champion loses to a thug like me? What would you do if that happened?


: What, I'm going to lose? You idiots, say rest! That can't be true!


: So this is just a hypothetical situation. If I win, I'll get a medal.


: Hmm, okay.That's impossible. So what do I get if I win?


: Hmm, what do you want?


: I'm only interested in money, so I take all the money you have


: All of it?! Maybe about half?


: No, all of them!


: I have no choice but to accept the conditions.


What?!?

Jesus no Hiro! Stop accepting these conditions. We just spent a lot of time getting bitten by various poisonous creatures to make that money. We also have a bone stock car! We’re not winning this race…

Why is this game constantly prompting us with ‘yes / no’ decisions based on random minutiae, but when it comes to the ‘bet all your money’ moments, it doesn’t give us an option?


: First, you'll have to fight my minions. If all three of you survive, I'll take you on.



Ahh the usual story. Three cronies, then the boss. I like that he actually refers to them as his minions here.

He has three minions, a Red Jag, a blue Daytona / Shelby and a Silver testarossa.

In stock form, we don’t stand a chance against any of them…




I’m handily beaten. 16.69 to 13.11





: I lost


: Hahahahaha


: As expected. It seems like you can't do it. I'll get my money as promised.






: Is this all you got, you poor guy? Get out!


: Damn it! Remember that!!



Damnit! He really did take all our cash. These old games didn't fuck around. We're going to have to regroup and figure out a better way to get this guy.